naughtyney

Going out of my Mind

30 Oct 2011 2 Comments

by naughtyney in RL Stories

I’ve had my fair share of trouble. Some I have innocently walked right into whereas other times I boldly busted my way into big trouble. Lately I have been having issues with getting into trouble with my husband when I am really not trying to do this. If you know me at all I do like to tease so usually if I’m in trouble at all that is why.

Lately, I haven’t really been teasing or causing any trouble around my house. I’ve actually been pretty respectful to my husband. This is leaps and bounds from just six months ago but in reality I’ve been trying really hard to let him lead. I have an independent streak that really fights against the whole submissive thing we are trying to accomplish in our marriage. It makes it very hard to bend (over, hee hee) sometimes and to just do what he wants because he thinks its best.

The thing that is so hard for me right now is that I am finding myself in trouble more and more because he is becoming a more aware HOH. In my wildest dreams I had hoped he would get here but I didn’t think about how that would affect my bottom line or just my bottom. I now have a bedtime and recently learned that even on weekends I have the same bedtime but if I want to stay up later I have to get permission. EEEWWWW. I hate it. I never married till I was 28 yrs old and this is my 2nd marriage. At least 1/2 of my adult life I have been able to come and go and choose to do or not do whatever I want on my own. I no longer have that freedom. Ughh. It’s true that whatever I do affects my home. It can affect my marriage or my children significantly if I for instance stay up too late and then am either late getting them up for school or am short with them because I am tired. It isn’t fair to them that I stayed up too late. OK I GET IT.

I love my kids and my husband but I am somewhat a free spirit. I want to do whatever I want when I want. Can’t now. Not so much that I have a family now and it ties me down. It’s mostly because I am an adult and that is how they are supposed to behave.

Being the baby in my family I have always been spoiled and my husband hasn’t really changed that. He has spoiled me more than anyone. I can’t complain about that. The problem is that I have told him that I don’t want to be bratty anymore. I want to do things that help our family and help him not pull and tug at him. More and more I find that I am getting better at this but something recently has been derailing my good intentions.

I wonder if the world has changed its tilt. Nature is saying, no Ney, say it ain’t so. Don’t be good. We can’t handle it when you are good. Why does it seem this way? Mostly, because I have been getting into trouble for the last several days and I am not doing this on purpose. I don’t mean little piddly things. I mean big humongous things.

OK, so you want details huh? OK, I lost my car keys for 3 days. On a separate time I lost my bank debit card and never did find it. I had a cancel that one and order a new one. What else you say? Oh, the big one, I got charged a huge fee on an account due to an oversight on my part. All of this in less than a two week period. Is he mad you ask? All day long today he text me. I was at work and he would remind me of my impending doom later this evening. Even now I sit here waiting in fear/anticipation of the punishment spanking that is coming. This is for things I didn’t do on purpose. Why would he punish me for something I did on accident? Well you don’t know my husband. He believes that he can “inspire” me to think through things better the next time.

I’ve already done extra chores today and that was after a full day of work. OK all you Tops/HOH’s out there are saying. “Good”, he should have done more. I know you feel that way because he does too. I just wish I could quit making mistakes. I even made 2 oversights at work recently. One of them didn’t cost my company any money but the other charged a nominal fee. I hated telling my boss that I messed up.

I just don’t know whats gotten into me. I hope I get back on track soon. My bottom can’t take much more of this.

Just a little sidebar. When I came home today, I was changing and my husband came in. We talked for a few minutes and he reminded me of the spanking that I had coming tonight. I had hoped that somehow some guy marathon movie event would happen and he’d want to do that instead. I must admit that this waiting is killer though. When I was changing my husband talked to me very kindly. He said, “Ney, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” I said, “I know.” He had a sparkle in his eye and I sensed that it was a tear and not him glaring at me. I was right.

He knew that I was going out of my mind worrying about my punishment spanking and the myriad of other disciplinary things he had given me. He took me in his arms and said how much he loved me. I really thought, “this is is” my spanking is here, but it wasn’t. He was just consoling his little brat. I hope I stop all this mess that has been happening lately. I never meant to do it in the first place. The more he loves me the more I want to please him.